Wednesday, November 4, 2009

tuoavyo na tuishivyo katika ndoa


katika mada iliyotangulia juu ya ndoa tumeona maoni kadhaa juu ya ndoa na sababu za kuoa. wengi wamesema mazuri ila sijaona aliyesema kuwa ndoa ni tendo la ndoa na hivyo kuhalalisha msimamo wangu kuwa sio tendo la ndoa bali tendo la ngono kwani kulifanya sio lazima uwe kwenye ndoa au kulifanya pia sio lazima lilete mimba na kuzalisha mtoto kama baadhi wasemavyo ni tendo la kuzaa watoto.

basi sababu za kuoa na jinsi ya kuoa na nani tuoane naye huwa sio zetu na labda hili ndilo tatizo. mara nyingi 'tunalazimika' kuoa kwa vigezo vya umri, kampani nk na wengine hulazimishwa na wazazi, ndugu au jamaa lakini kuna wanaolazimishwa na dini au kwa kuwa alimpa mimba bila kujua kwani alitaka ngono tu ya maa moja, basi kalazimika/mishwa kumwoa au kuolewa naye!!! wengine ni mali au fedha alizonazo yule amtakaye na mwingine ni uzuri wa huyo! wengi sasa hatufanyi ndoa zetu kwa maaamuzi yetu na mapenzi yetu bali ya wale wanaotuangalia utadhani wanatusaidia kuishi au wanaoa wao.

hivyo basi, kwanza tunataka tuolewa na mtu mwenye nazo au ambaye watakukoma naye wakikuona naye, kwa hiyo tunatanguliza ya nje yetu kuliko ya ndani mwetu.
hata hivyo ukiongea na walioko kwenye 'ndoano' zitokanazo na ndoa, watakwambia kuwa walidhani watapata furaha au ndo mwenzi wa maisha. ndoa nyingi za matajiri na masikini ziko kwenye hati hati na upendo hakuna. majamaa hayaelewani tena.

kuingia kwenye ndoa ukitarajia kupata furaha ni ajabu kwani furaha ya kweli haipo kwenye ndoa bali imo ndani mwetu na kama hatuwezi kuigundua hiyo, ni vigumu sana kuipokea kutoka nje yetu (kwa wengine) na hivyo hubakia kuwa wa masikitiko na vilio na kusaga meno.
kwa kujua furaha hiyo na kuishea na wengine ndipo itakapo kuwa na manufaa badala ya kuitegemea kutoka kwa hao tuoanaonao.

tukiisha kuingia kwenye ndoa tunapenda jamaa watuone tulivyo kuwa na vifaa vikali na nini sijui. lakini wakati mwingine tunadhani tuliwatafuta wenza kumbe tulikutanishwa nao tu kwa sababu ya nguvu za maumbile kutokana na maneno yetu, matendno yetu na maisha yetu ya sasa au yaliyopita.


kwa leo ni hayo tu na next ijayo tutaona juu ya maisha yenu wawili baada ya kuwa mmeoana na hapo ni muhimu kwani kumbuka wale waliokusurutisha uoe au wale uliotaka kuwatambia kwa bonge la harusi hawapo tena au uliowaolea kimwana mkali sasa wanamkonyeza na kutaka kunyatia.

ni nyakatii pia ambazo kama ulipenda ngono basi uezoea na kuiona sio dili tena au unawaona wengie wazuuri nje.
au ni wakati ambao sasa mimba zinakuja au zinagoma na kumbuka hukujiandalia lolote kwani maisha yako yoote ulikuwa ukiiwazia siku yako ya kufunga ndoa na sio maisha yako na mwenzako. C U

3 comments:

Chacha o'Wambura said...

mi yangu macho na mathikio tu...lol

chib said...

:-0

Anonymous said...

A FELLOWSHIP FOR AFRICAN WOMEN TO STUDY AT NEW YORK UNIVERSITY (NYU)

(Please pass the info along to anyone you think would be interested/qualified.)

African Women Public Service Fellowship

NYU Wagner (Robert F. Wagner Graduate School of Public Service) is sending out a call for applications for the African Women Public Service Fellowship.

Call for Applications: Master of Public Administration and Executive Master of Public Administration

Deadline for Applications: January 7, 2010

The Fellowship

New York University’s Robert F. Wagner Graduate School of Public Service announces a call for applications for the African Women Public Service Fellowship. The fellowship program, made possible by a grant from the Oprah Winfrey Foundations, expands the opportunity for African women to obtain a graduate education that prepares them for public service in their home countries.

As fellows at NYU Wagner, African women study in one of two graduate programs: the two-year Master of Public Administration (MPA) (for details, visit http://wagner.nyu.edu/international/) or the one-year Executive MPA: Concentration on International Public Service Organizations (for details, visit http://wagner.nyu.edu/executivempa/).

The award will support tuition, housing, travel to and from the United States, and a small stipend to cover books and miscellaneous expenses.

Fellows commit to return to their home country at the conclusion of the program with the goal of assuming a leadership position in a public service organization where they can meaningfully contribute to the challenges confronting Africa.

For more info about the fellowship, visit http://wagner.nyu.edu/international/awpsf.php.

Who Should Apply

To qualify for the Fellowship, prospective applicants must meet the School’s general admissions criteria (for details, visit http://www.wagner.nyu.edu/admissions...ng/masters.php) and be citizens and residents in an African country at the time of application.

NYU Wagner’s admissions committee pays particular attention to applications from women who possess strong academic records; who have a demonstrated commitment to public service; and for whom a Wagner education would significantly enhance their ability to have a deep and lasting impact on public issues in their home country and region.

Please see the biographies of recent fellows on the website.

For more information or to request an NYU Wagner viewbook, visit http://wagner.nyu.edu/admissions/.

How to Apply

Please apply online at http://wagner.nyu.edu/admissions/application/. There are no special forms or applications for the African Women Public Service Fellowship.

Applicants will automatically be considered for all scholarships, including the African Women Public Service Fellowship.

Robert F. Wagner Graduate School of Public Service
295 Lafayette Street, New York, New York, 10012
212-998-7414
wagner.admissions@nyu.edu

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Born Again Pagan